Tales from the Command Center
by Mr. Chaos
Summary: An anthology series that looks at some of the crazier moments that were never seen on TV. Rita finds out not all holidays work well for making monsters. Breakfast is discussed. Trini tries to prove she isn't a guy. Time travel! Monkeys! At least 3 of these things will happen!
1. The Most Important Meal of the Day

Alpha 5 moved along the control panel, flipping several switches before checking one of the many gauges that were tied to the morphing grid. While almost any other being in the universe would look at the control panel and thought that it was merely a random array of switches, dials, buttons, and screens that had been cobbled together by some Hollywood prop master for a low-budget kid's show, when Alpha 5 looked upon it he saw one of the most important devices in the entire universe. The control panel not only watched over the morphing grid but also helped the Command Center monitor and repair the zords and ensure the safety of his creator, the great being known as Zordon.

"Is everything well?" Zordon asked, his massive head looking down from his energy tube at Alpha.

The robot nodded his head. "Indeed, Zordon! The morphing grid is stable and well. It is showing no ill effect from the creation of the Rangers."

"Very good, Alpha." Zordon said. "With Rita's return we cannot risk any errors now."

"Oh, no! That would not be good, not good at all!" Alpha began to double-check the readings. "It's bad enough we have those teenagers as Rangers… if they suddenly loss their powers… Ai ai ai ai ai!"

"Calm yourself, Alpha," Zordon said, a slight smile on his lips. They had worked together for quite some time and Zordon was use to the slightly skittish robot and his panic attacks. "I know you disapprove of the Rangers but they have shown already that they are worthy of their Power Coins. They'll protect this world from Rita and her monsters and I hope that, in time, you… will…"

Alpha looked up, confused. Zordon had trailed off, his words fading away. His massive blue face was screwed up in an expression Alpha had never seen for his creator before: befuddled shock. "Zordon?" he said, growing more concerned the longer it took Zordon to respond. "Is something wrong?"

"I…" Zordon began, unable to finish. Alpha titled his head, realizing after a moment that Zordon was not staring at him but behind him. Alpha turned and froze, spotting just what had grabbed hold of his master's attention.

Jason Scott, the Red Ranger and Leader of the Power Rangers, was walking through the command center dressed in his pajamas.

"Morning," Jason said with a half-hearted wave, his voice a bit gravelly. He was wearing a baggy red t-shirt and silk bottoms, his feet bare as he shuffled across the floor. He blinked several times, never pausing to glance at the robot or his mentor, and made his way over towards the outer wall of the Main Chamber, touching it and causing a door to open.

"How did he know about that room?" Alpha asked as Jason disappeared, the door sliding shut behind him. Considering what he'd just seen, Alpha whipped around and stared at Zordon. "What is he doing here?! Why is he dressed like that?! Is it a spell? A trap?"

"I… am sure there is a good reason," Zordon finally said. "We shall wait for Jason to return- properly dressed- and get some answers from… him…"

"Ai ai ai!" Alpha exclaimed when he turned and found Trini walking past them, wearing a spaghetti-strap pajama top, cotton yellow shorts, and fuzzy slippers. "Trini, what are you-"

"No talk… coffee," Trini said, her words stilted as she made her way towards the door Jason had gone through,. It took her several moment to open the door, her movements sluggish. She finally managed it, leaving Zordon and Alpha in her wake.

"…perhaps it would be best if we investigated now," Zordon finally said. "Alpha, please shift me to the side room."

Alpha nodded, going to the controls. While Zordon spent nearly all his time communicating with Alpha and the newly minted Rangers via the massive energy tube that dominated the main control room, it was not the only one in the Command Center. In fact, there were many such tubes, allowing Zordon to move about the many different areas of the Command Center. They were less… impressive… than his main one, and Zordon was willing to admit it was a bit of the emotion humans called 'vanity' that had him talking to his new Rangers via the massive energy tube. It was easier to guide headstrong and emotional teenagers when he appeared as a mighty giant head. It gave off a sense of power and control, offering them comfort in trying times and lending authority to his words. He knew, had he appeared in one of the smaller tubes that littered the Command Center, the Rangers would have most likely been reduced to laughter.

Desperate times… like his Rangers apparently having already snapped and begun wander around in their pajamas… called for desperate measures.

Zordon felt the familiar yet still strange sensation of the energy that now made up his form dissolving from the main energy tube and sweeping towards a smaller one. It was an unusual feeling, to come apart while at the same time reform. His face took shape in the smaller tube within the side room and he looked around… only to find himself more befuddled than he'd been moments ago.

When he'd last seen the side room it had been little more than an empty space with a few metal boxes set off to the side. He'd planned to use it to further explore the powers of the morphing grid, in hopes of first augmenting his rangers and then, if he were successful, to begin work on creating new power coins so that he could increase the ranks of the Rangers. While the team was able to handle Rita at the moment Zordon knew there were forces out there far beyond the self-proclaimed Empress of Evil and in order to have any hope against such threats the Rangers would need to increase their ranks. He was thinking of going with a cat motif… he loved kitties.

But the room where he hoped to one day craft the next stage of Ranger evolution ('Orange Lion Ranger? Green Panther?') had been altered. The black metal walls remained but the hard durasteel floors had been covered by an assortment of mismatched rugs. The metal boxes had been shoved into a corner, the empty space now filled with IKEA furniture. A wheeled table sat to one side, an electric stove sitting on top of it. Someone had stripped the stove's cord and tied it to a small metal box attached to the room's wall, figuring out a way to power the appliance via the Commander Center's own power grid. There were other tables set up, one with a microwave and coffee maker that had been modified like the stove. But the table to truly held Zordon's attention was the one in the center of the room… the one that his five Rangers sat at.

Jason was there, hunched over a bowl of Alphabits, a glass of juice near his hand. Trini was standing guard by the coffee machine, grumbling about how long it was taking the appliance to brew her morning cup. Zach, bare chested and wearing a pair of purple and black pajama bottoms, was hunched over a plate of pancakes. Billy was next to him, wearing a matching set of blue pjs and a cobalt colored hooded robe, enjoying some sliced fruit. Kimberly rounded out the group, dressed in a pink t-shirt that came down to her knees that hid her bottoms, a green stuffed dragon sitting next to her plate of toast. She occasionally speak baby-talk to the plushie before focusing on her meal.

"The Angels lost to the Tigers," Jason muttered, glancing at the newspaper that sat beside his cereal bowl.

"Can I see the comics?" Zack asked.

"I would observe them as well. The obese orange feline who shows abhorrence for Mondays is quite humorous."

"Rangers?" Zordon said, his booming voice rendered a more natural decibel thanks to his much smaller tube.

"Oh, good morning Zordon," Kimberly said pleasantly. "Did you sleep well?"

"I don't think he actually engages in normal nocturnal hibernation cycles," Billy said. "Due to his form being energy in nature I would hypothesize that such requirements are quite unneeded."

"Trini?" Zack asked, hoping his friend could translate the Billy-Speak.

"Coffee…" Trini moaned like a zombie.

"Oh, look at what you've done to the place!" Alpha exclaimed, having finally made it into the room.

"Like it?" Kimberly asked. "We set it up last night. Still need to hang some curtains or something. You might like the walls but they are a bit too dark for a dining room."

"Rangers, what are you doing?" Zordon asked. He wondered for a moment if he should have paid more attention to NInjor's warning that Power Coins + Humans = Insane Humans. But he'd assumed he'd fixed that problem by selecting teenagers, as their unformed brained and still developing bodies could better handle the surge of power that came from being a Ranger. But seeing his newly created team happily eating breakfast (well, except for Trini, who was at the moment muttering threats against the coffee maker) in the Commander Center had him concerned that he'd created another batch of Psycho Rangers.

"Eating breakfast," Zack said. "Wait… do you eat breakfast?"

"Maybe that's why he's so confused," Jason reasoned. He turned and began to slowly address his mentor. "Break-fast is a meal we humans eat after waking up."

"Your mother was a toaster," Trini snapped at the coffee maker.

"He meant why are you eating it here?" Alpha asked.

Billy frowned. "Were we suppose to obtain our daily intact of nutrients at a restaurant?"

"…Trini?" Alpha asked.

"Finally!" Trini said in relief, grabbing the entire pot of coffee and carrying it to the table. She grabbed some creamer and poured it directly into said pot before plopping down. She didn't even bother with a mug, choosing to drink it straight from the glass pot.

"Rangers, Alpha and I are… surprised to find you here…. in your pajamas. Has something happened?"

Kimberly stared at Zordon. "Uh… no. This is how we always look at breakfast. Were we suppose to dress up?"

"What he means is why are you here instead of your homes?" Alpha asked.

"Oh!" Jason said, catching on. "Right. We live here now."

Zordon blinked at this. "You… live here?"

Zack nodded. "Yeah, hope you don't mind that we picked out our own rooms. Figured you were busy dealing with Rita's return to get us set up. We got it sorted out though. Kim and Trini took the one room and Billy and I took the second. Jase gets his own room, since he's the leader… or at least that was his excuse…" He and the rest of the Rangers shot the black-belt dirty looks.

"When you're made the Red Ranger you can have your own bedroom," Jason said.

"You… are sharing bedrooms?" Zordon said, trying to follow the conversation.

"Were we supposed to have our own accommodations?" Billy asked. "We considered such a scenario but it was decided that we'd rather use this room as a shared kitchen and the other as a meeting room/training area. I'll be setting up Zack's television tonight and Kimberly has suggested we get a pinball machine."

"Oh coffee," Trini said, stroking the pot she'd brewed, "if we were in Canada I'd make you my bride…"

"Ignore her… Trini has a think about her morning cup o' joe," Zack said.

Zordon ignored the fact that his Yellow Ranger was clearly an addict ('Fight one battle at a time' he thought to himself), and focused on the matter at hand. "Rangers… why are you living here?"

The five teens looked at each other, silently communicating with each other. It was actually rather fascinating; Kimberly would raise an eyebrow to which Zack would respond with a tilt of his head. Billy would nod a few times (the only time the rest of the group could understand him) and Jason would wiggle his lips for a moment. Trini… was cooing to her coffee like it was her baby, and thus left out of the silent conversation. Finally it was decided to allow Jason to speak, as he was the one with his own bedroom and that made him the leader (well, that and being the Red Ranger but the bedroom thing sealed the deal).

"Well… we all assumed you were inviting us to live here," Jason said.

"Rangers," Zordon said, trying to use his wisest and most caring voice, "while I want you to see this Command Center as a place you can feel safe… would it not be better to stay at your own homes?"

The five Rangers blinked (even Trini, who'd finally gotten enough caffine in her to realize Zordon and Alpha were there). "Uh… we don't have homes," Zack said.

"You don't?" Alpha asked.

"No. We assumed you selected us because all five of us are homeless," Kimberly said. Zordon just stared at her and Kimberly shrugged, pointing to Jason. "He's been living at the Juice Bar since he was 8."

"The training mats make a nice bed," Jason said casually. "And Ernie lets me shower using his hose."

"Zack stays after school and sleeps in one of the classrooms. One time we found him spooning the skeleton from science class."

"In my defense I sleepwalk and have erotic dreams," Zack protested.

"Trini's parents are in the witness protection program but she couldn't join them because of budgetary reasons."

Trini nodded. "This is so much nicer than the cardboard box I was staying in. Less hobos to fight with."

"Billy has a home but his father keeps locking him out by accident."

The boy shrugged. "Normally I sleep in the neighbor's canine's domicile."

Kim took a moment to nibble on her toast. "And my parents got in a messy divorce and both thought the other got custody of me. Normally I just break into hotel rooms to sleep but this place is much nicer."

Zordon slowly turned to stare at Alpha.

"What? Don't say this is my fault!" The robot flailed his armors. "You asked for five teenagers with attitude… did you not realize that only screwed up teens would have 'attitude'?"

"I actually asked for overly emotional and overbeating- never mind." Looking over his Rangers Zordon let out a sigh. He wasn't blind to the problems of the world; he knew this planet, like so many, suffered from so many woes: famine, disease, the loss of Freddie Mercury, poverty. He wished he could do more for its people but the threat of Rita and her minions meant he had to focus all his attention on her defeat. Still, looking upon his Rangers so casually stating they were homeless made him decide that he had to do something in this situation. "Rangers, I am sorry I did not know about your living conditions. I promise you I'll work to find you all new homes-"

"Why?" Zack asked. "We're real comfortable here."

"And any home you put us in would be destroyed within a week," Jason pointed out. When Zordon merely stared at him in confusion the teen elaborated. "Rita knows who we are."

"Well… yes. Her magic allowed her to observe you unmorphed," Zordon admitted.

"So she can watch us… know where we are. She knows when we are sleeping and knows when we're awake."

"Like Santa Claus!" Kim said. "Uh, we won't have the fight Santa, will we?"

"Only if he dates my sister again," Zordon muttered to himself before turning his attention back on the Rangers. "And yes, Rita does observe you."

"So what is to stop her from sending a giant monster to wherever we are at and killing us in our sleep?" Jason asked. "Here, at least, we're protected."

Zordon frowned. "Rangers, I know you are concerned, but please be assured that such an event has never-"

"Uh, Zordon?" Alpha said. "KO-36?"

~TALES~TALES~TALES~

_KO-36_

_58 Years Ago_

"Alright, the Galactic Rangers are in there!" Novarix declared, hoisting up his battle mace. A squad of Digitrons let out a series of beeps and the crab-like Overlord nodded in approval. They were standing in front of a rather large black and purple domicile that rested among the Singing Trees that made up the Forest of Molax. "The foolish Rangers thought they would be safe here… but tonight we will end them in glorious battle!"

"Uh, my lord?" a scaly mage in a crimson robe said, twisting his 7 fingered hands around his Staff of Whispers.

Novarix's head dropped slightly and he let out a sigh. "What is it, Mysticlo?" He said the words much as a parent would address a 2-year old that had just spent the last 4 hours bombarding their mother with questions.

"I was just wondering… how can this be a glorious battle?"

"What do you mean? This is the end of the Galactic Rangers! The only ones who wouldn't find this glorious are the Rangers themselves!" Novarix considered his advisor carefully. "Are you saying you feel sympathy for the Rangers?"

"Of course not!" Mysticlo complained, highly offended by such a statement. "Death to the Rangers!"

"Death to the Rangers!" the Digitrons cried out, waving their metallic arms in the air.

"It's just…" Mysticlo said nervously, "and far be it for me to question you but… we are going to stab them while they are in their beds. That's not very glorious."

Novarix considered this. "Well, a suppose-"

"I mean, they aren't even going to fight back. They might not even realize what happened if we do it right. That is not much of an epic battle… it's kind of pushing it to call it a battle at all."

"Granted, but-"

"I mean, can you imagine them trying to sing songs of the Fall of the Galactic Rangers? What will the choirs say? 'And so Novarix slit their throats… and that was pretty much it'. Not very appealing to the masses."

Novarix rubbed the back of his armored head. "Ok, now you're just making me sound like a dick."

"By the Dark Specter's rocky manhood, I don't get why we brought so many soldiers!" Mysticlo waved his Staff at the legion of Digitrons that were crowded around them. "At most we'd only need maybe… 20 of them to hold them down while we stab them. The rest of them are going to have to wait outside. So not only is this not going to be a battle and not going to be exciting but we are going to have most of our forces just standing around being useless. Not glorious at all."

Novarix considered these arguments for a moment before coming up with an answer. "If anyone asks… we lie!"

"…I can live with that."

The Overlord cackled, raising his weapon in the air. "Then come, my warriors… let us end the Rangers!" He grabbed onto the door and rushed inside the building, Mstyiclo and the Digitrons following after him. They stormed through the living room and threw open the first bedroom door they found…

…and saw the Red Galactic Ranger lying naked on the Pink Galactic Ranger.

"Oh by the Dark Specter!" Novarix screamed in horror, covering his eyes. "I can see his claspers!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" the Pink Ranger screamed, covering himself with a blanket. The Red Ranger whipped around, her face a mask of fury when she realized just who had interrupted them. Planting her hands on her hips, she stood over her blushing male colleague and glared at the intruders.

"Well, this will make for an interesting song from the choir," Mysticlo groused.

~TALES~TALES~TALES~

Zordon's lips drew into a thin line. "Well, it's not like anyone died…" Seeing the Rangers just staring at him, unable to see the flashback that had just occurred in his head, the blue mage sighed. "Very well, you can all stay here."

"Great," Zack said, pulling out a slip of paper from his pocket. "Listen, can you sign this permission slip? Ms. Mereci is taking us on a field trip to the museum next week…"

"And my English teacher wants to set up a Parent/Teacher Conference meeting with you," Kim said.

Zordon groaned.

~TALES~TALES~TALES~

Auhtor's Notes; Before anyone freaks out… yes, I am doing another story. But this will be a series of one-shots that have no set release time and will ONLY be done when I am ahead on writing TARDIS and HP:PM. Mostly just some fun little tales to write on my days off.

The Galactic Rangers are a group of Rangers form Ko-35's sister planet. On KO-36 gender traits are reversed, thus the team is mostly women with two token guys.


	2. Holidays

_The Moon_

_Jan. 16__th__, 1994_

"Curse those Rangers!" Rita exclaimed, watching the teens through her enchanted telescope. They had just managed to defeat yet another one of her monsters (and, if she weren't mistaken, the blasted teens were making their Megazord do a victory dance over the monster's charred remained). "Why can't they do the decent thing and just die so I can take over their planet? Is that so much to ask?"

"They are so inconsiderate," Squatt stated.

Baboo nodded quickly. "Some heroes they are, refusing to help us out by standing out of your way. Its almost enough to make me return my Power Ranger Action figures!"

"Don't do that!" Squat complained. "I had to fight off the Red Ranger to get those, remember? He even dented the box!"

"It just makes me so mad!" Rita complained, stomping away from her balcony. "Stupid Rangers and their stupid zords defeating my even more stupid monsters!" She went over to her rocking chair and collapsed in it, her head lulling to one side. "Oh, it just gives me such a headache."

"I will get you some Tylenol!" Goldar proclaimed.

"Please don't get so down, Emperess," Scorpina said, kneeling down before Rita (she'd just come back from her 2 week cruise around Orions Belt and was still trying to get caught up on her paperwork). "The Rangers will soon be dust beneath our feet and the world will tremble when it hears your name."

"Oh, I don't know," Rita said with a dramatic sigh. "Sometimes I think it is just time to give up. Maybe find some nice asteroid and rule that instead."

"You mustn't let yourself get depressed!" Goldar declared, having returned with the bottle of Tylenol and a glass of water. "Why don't you create a new monster to terrorize those Rangers? That always perks you up!"

Rita sat up, a grin forming on her lips. "You're right! That will be just the thing to cheer me up. FINSTER!"

"Yes my Queen?" Finster said, shuffling out of his workshop. "What is it that I can do for you?"

"I need you to make me a monster!" Rita declared. "Something that will ruin those Rangers and their fun!"

"Of course, oh great one," Finster said, going over to his Big Book O' Monsters (which had, strangely, been put out by Penguin Publishing) and flipped through the pages. "What about a nice rock golem? Something big and strong and durable might just be what you need."

"Yes, something big and rock hard will ease your aches and pains!" Goldar proclaimed.

Rita shook her head, however. "No no… I need something better than that!" Her eyes shut slightly and she began to sway back and forth.

"Do you think she fell asleep?" Baboo asked.

"I heard that happens to people when they reach her age," Squat stated.

"I'm thinking, you empty headed buffoons!" Rita roared, causing her two silly minions to cower. Turning back to Finster Rita complained, "We need to come up with something new and interesting! Something with a connection to the Rangers! Whenever we send down a random monster they defeat him with ease… but when it is connected to their lives they always have difficulties with it. No… we need something that will hurt the Rangers not only physically but in their hearts as well!"

"They appear to be excited because they have the day off, Empress," Scorpina said, having snuck a peak at Earth via the telescope. "They said something about a holiday…"

"Of course!" Rita exclaimed with glee. "Those humans and their holidays… they place so much emotional attachment on them and their myths and superstitions always offer such wonderful inspirations! Fools… the only holiday that matters is Frieza Day!" She cackled in delight. "Oh, the Rangers believe that tomorrow will be filled with fun and relaxation? Well, I'll see to it that all they know is defeat and destruction! Quick, what holiday is it?"

"I'll consult the calendar!" Goldar declared, hurrying over the wall where he'd hung an Earth calendar he'd stolen during one of his most recent trips to earth. He'd claimed that he'd just grabbed it at random when Rita had pressed him on it, but most of them didn't believe him… especially when they saw that each month featured a chimp dressed in garter belts and pushup bras. "Let us see…"

"Yes… yes, this will be perfect! A monster based on their precious Earth holiday! Even if it loses we'll taint the memory of that day, making it forever a day of tragedy and mourning-"

"Here it is!" Goldar called out. "Tomorrow is Martin Luther King Day!"

Rita froze, her mouth still hanging open, her hand raised in the air.

"Martin Luther King Day, hmmm?" Finster said. "Perhaps I could find a statue of him and turn it into a monster…"

"No, no," Rita said softly, slowly walking away from her monster-maker. "I… I don't think that is a good idea."

Scorpina frowned. "Why not, mistress? I'm sure that a terrible, violent-"

"No, I think not," Rita said, going over to her rocking chair and sitting down. "Maybe we should… take the day off ourselves. The Rangers get a chance to relax and we can too. I'll work on my knitting, Goldar can stare at his calendar-"

"I picked it out at random!" Goldar whined.

"-and we can try again the next day. Yes… that sounds good. Good plan."

Finster walked over to Rita, the old monster-maker concerned. "My queen, what is wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Rita snapped. "What's wrong? Martin Luther King Day! That's what's wrong!" Her eyes went wide. "Not… not that I am saying having such a day is bad! No! Not at all. Its just... there is no way I'm going near that landmine!"

"But why not, my mistress?" Goldar asked, hiding the calendar behind his back.

Rita stared at him, a look of utter terror in her eyes. "Don't you remember the last time we did a holiday monster and it ended badly?"

~TALES~TALES~TALES~

_Several Months Back…_

Kimberly, Zack, and Billy glared at Rita's newest monster while ignoring the snickers Jason and Trini were trying to hold in. It was the day before Thanksgiving and they had all volunteered to help a soup kitchen prepare for their massive Feed the Homeless Event. Tommy had just left to go pick up some more eggs (as Bulk and Skull, who'd showed up to do something, the Rangers honestly weren't sure what, ended up breaking them all) when Rita's newest monster, The Puckish Pilgrim, had stormed in and begun wrecking the place with a troop of Putties.

The Rangers, rather than simply standing back and letting the attack happen, had gone on the offensive, driving Puckish Pilgrim out and into a nearby park. Once they'd morphed the monster had revealed his special ability, firing off a beam of energy that struck Kim, Zack and Billy. Within seconds the rangers found feathers sprouting from their bodies and suits, their feet turned into turkey legs, and beaks appearing on their masks.

"We've GOOBLE got to GOOBLE stop him!" Kimberly declared. She whipped around when Trini began to cackle. "AND STOP LAUGHING!"

"Sorry… sorry…" Trini said, taking a deep breath. "Could you please say 'I feel like chicken tonight'?"

Billy merely stared at her. "But we aren't GOOBLE chickens. We are a different type of avian-"

"She's making fun of us, man," Zack complained, flapping his arms.

"Ah."

Jason, finally managing to get control of himself and his laughter, stepped forward and called forth his Power Sword. "Alright, sorry guys. Let's send this Pilgrim back onto the Mayflower!"

"Oh, ye be welcomed to try!" Puckish Pilgrim declared, letting out a laugh. The monster looked like a cartoonish Pilgrim with a huge head and monstrous face. Jason rushed at him, trading a few blows before he was shoved away, forcing him to deal with the Putties.

"Keep talking," Kim growled, rushing at the monster, her blaster blade in her hand. "When I'm GOOBLE done with you-" Before she could swing she let out a cry, her arms turning into wings and causing her to drop her weapon. Puckish Pilgram kicked her away and let out a bold laugh.

"Ye be unable to match me." He turned towards Zack and gestured at him. "Well, I have hadth some white, let us try some dark meat!"

"…what did you just say?" Zack said, his voice trembling with fury.

Puckish Pilgrim stared at him, confused. "I-"

"Did you just call me 'dark meat'?"

"I think he was referring to your GOOBLE suit…" Billy began, only for Zack to hold up a feathered hand.

"You stay out of this! This is between me and the racist Pilgrim."

"Racist?" the monster said, startled. "No, I'm more Puckish than Racist. And I wasn't saying you are dark… I was just… well…" Zack called forward his Power Ax and the monster began to stammer. "Listen, I was trying to quip and it didn't work out well. Let's start again… uh… did you know peanut butter was made by a black man?"

Zack merely raced forward and, spinning his axe so the blade was facing away from the monster, began to bludgeon Puckish Pilgrim over and over again.

"Wow," Trini said in shock as Zack brutally murdered the racist monster.

"Eesh," Billy said.

"Blublublu," a Putty said, which roughly translated to 'Holy crap, someone has anger issues!'.

"Hey guys, I got the eggs!" Tommy called out, wearing his Green Ranger outfit, two bags clutched in his hands. He looked around, staring at the scene before him: Jason and a bunch of Putties were watching as Zack brutally beat a pilgrim to death, Kimberly and Billy were turkeys, and Trini was alternating between being horrified and laughing. "Uh… did I miss something?"

~TALES~TALES~TALES~

"That was a weird week," Scorpina said.

"Uh huh," Goldar said, not paying attention as he looked at the calendar, a grin on his face.

Finster nodded. "Yes, it was horrible. That deranged Black Ranger-" 

"African American Ranger," Rita said, looking about as if she expected Zack to suddenly leap out swinging his Ax O' Doom.

"-scared all our monsters. Took us 11 days to convince another one to go down and attack the Rangers."

"And when they did it didn't end well either…" Scorpina pointed out. "Tried to steal the Yellow one's coffee… she almost came up here to kill us all just to get it back."

Rita nodded. "So I'm not going to risk it! No evil Martin Luther Kings or anything like that!"

Finster considered this. "What if we created a monster that attacked on the holiday but had nothing to do with it?" 

"I… suppose," Rita said slowly. "But only if we're really careful about it."

"Understood." The old monster-maker ambled back to his book and began to look through it. "Hmm, let us see… oh, what about this! Motorhead! Very strong and fast."

"Hmmm," Rita said. "Sounds good."

"Yes, I think so too," Finster said. "He is based on a public bus and he can force people into his bus-like head… but when new ones get on they have to move to the back…"

"No, Finster," Rita said coldly.

"We have an idea!" Squat cried out.

Baboo nodded as he rubbed his hands together. "Oh yes, a brilliant idea, mistress!"

"It would be a minotaur monster! We call him Bull Connor…"

"Uh oh," Scorpina said.

"And he'd have fire-hoses for arms!" Baboo said excitedly.

"eeesh," Scorpina stated.

"And he even comes with his own monstrous dogs that he can sic on the rangers!" Squat said.

"And there it is," Scorpina said. "Well, looks like we have the day off. I'm going to go sharpen my sword." The Scorpion Warrioress marched away, shaking her head.

"Me too," Goldar proclaimed.

"Your sword is over there," Baboo pointed out. "Uh Goldar?" he called out as the gold-armored monster hurried off to his room, the calendar clutched in his hand. "Goldar? You're sword?"

"I have such a headache," Rita complained.

~TALES~TALES~TALES~

Author's Notes: God, this one was fun. I so enjoy playing with the villains of the series and showing they are just as screwed up as the Rangers. The idea to have Rita stubble onto race relations just came to me suddenly. Scorpina might be my new favorite character, since she is now the voice of reason.

Next time we deal with Trini having issues about her costume. After that we have Tommy and Kimberly deciding to help better the Green Ranger image by taking part, as Rangers, in a Big Brothers/Sisters program with four 6 year olds… who happen to be named Connor, Kira, Ethan and Trent.


	3. Image Issues

Author's Notes: Thank you to those that are reviewing! Hope you enjoy the next chapter!

~TALES~TALES~TALES~

"Well done, Kim!" Trini cheered as he friend performed a perfect dismount from the balance beam. The gymnast beamed, enjoying the applause she was getting from her friend. It was true that it wasn't much, just a simple dismount, but Trini knew that sometimes friends needed a bit of cheering on, even when they did the most minor of things.

"Thanks," Kimberly said, accepting a towel Billy was holding out (not for her… in fact he was trying to pass it to a sweaty Zack but Kim took it anyway; why she didn't figure out that it wasn't her normal pink towel Billy honestly didn't know) and made her way over to the table where Jason and Tommy were already sitting, drinks in hand. Trini quickly joined them, followed soon by Billy and Zack (the latter of whom now with a pink towel draped over his neck and shoulders). "You guys going to put on a show for us?" Kim asked.

"Maybe next time," Tommy said with a shy smile.

"Pity," Kim said. "I like to see you sweaty."

"Like you are now?" Tommy asked.

"I am NOT sweaty, Thomas Oliver. I am glowing."

"I wish they'd just kiss already," Jason muttered to Trini, causing her to cover her mouth to hide her laughter.

Ernie came by, passing over some drinks. "Hey kids."

"Hey Ernie," Kim said, grabbing a drink (that Zack had ordered). "Anything new?"

"Not much," Ernie said, taking a new drink order for Zack. "Just been rereading that article about the Power Rangers. Amazing what they managed to figure out-"

"Wait, what article?" Jason asked, sharing a concerned look with his friends.

Ernie stared at them in surprise. "You guys haven't seen the article in the Angel Grove Gazette?"

"We're teenagers," Zack pointed out.

"Yeah, newspapers and us are unmixy," Kim said. When everyone stared at her she shrugged. "Sorry, my little cousin Buffy says that all the time."

"Oh… right. " Ernie walked over to his counter and grabbed a copy of the paper. He took a moment to grab Zack's second drink before returning, passing the paper to Jason. "The Gazette's been keeping track of the Rangers and put out a summary of everything they've learned and their theories on whom they are. It's really interesting everything the reporters have been able to dig up."

"Ernie, Bulk got stuck in the bathroom stall again!" Skull cried out.

Ernie shuddered. "And on that wonderful note…"

The Rangers didn't bother to say goodbye, all of their attention on the paper that was now spread out on the table. It was flipped to Page 4 (the Rangers were important but they didn't qualify a Front Page Headline; that honor belonged to the Gazette's continued coverage of the deadly Banana Bandit) where a photo of the entire team was spread out above the fold, the words 'MIGHTY MYSTERIOUS POWER RangerS' blazed above said picture.

"…it's a decent picture, at least," Zack said weakly.

"It does have an excellent spacing of our frames," Billy said.

Billy was right, it was a great picture. It was from a battle the Rangers had waged against Mighty Minotaur, a monster with firehouse arms that Rita had unleashed a week earlier. They had for once all managed to get to the fight at the same time (even Tommy, though that was mostly because Zack had been with him when Zordon had signaled them), each gripping their weapons and standing tall and proud, ready to take on Mighty Minotaur. The photo had them each in a rather impressive stance, as if they'd been posed. If it weren't for the fact that it was set above an article that was trying to reveal their secret identities they all might have wanted copies to hang in their bedrooms (Tommy especially, as he'd been forced to move in with Jason and was tired of staring at all his awards and posters… including the one that proclaimed 'Jason: 1, Evil Green Ranger: 0').

Jason was more focused on the article itself. He glanced over it, the corners of his mouth twitching. He fought as long as he could before he just gave in and began laughing. The rest of the gang stared at him, worried that their identities being revealed had broken their leader's brain (Tommy wondered if that meant he could take over as leader and kick Jason out of their room).

"Uh, Jase?" Zack said, staring with concern as the red-clothed teen threw back his head and cackled like Goldar.

Jason couldn't speak so he chose to just push the paper towards Tommy. The newest Ranger blinked before looking down at the article, instantly seeing what was tickling the Red Ranger's funny bone. "Guys, I think our secret is safe."

"What do you mean?" Kimberly asked, glancing at the other patrons of the Juice Bar who were now staring at Jason, concerned that the normally in-control martial artist was acting like a loon.

"Let's just read the Red Ranger's entry, shall we?" Tommy said. He cleared his throat and began to read. "_'With his passion nature and commanding presence, our experts believe that the Red Ranger is a warrior prince who has come from a far off land or a time long past to protect all of us from villainy. It is clear that the Red Ranger will one day reveal himself as the heir of some long-lost throne, taking his place along with his loyal knights in helping guide our world to a new golden age'_." 

"They've theorized that Jason is a monarch?" Billy said.

"Ye be correct, loyal knight," Tommy said with a smirk.

Jason, who'd finally gained some measure of control, shook his head. "Be careful how you talk, big brother."

"Huh?" Trini said.

"Tommy's entry." Jason took back the news paper and passed it to Trini. "Read it. I'll just begin laughing again."

The Yellow Ranger raised an eyebrow, skimming the article before she began to snicker. "Oh, this is just ridiculous. _'The older brother of the Red Ranger, the Green Ranger sought to defeat his little brother to secure his claim to the throne, allying with the dark witch Rita. Realizing the error of his ways, the Green Ranger made peace with his little brother and now services him as one of his most loyal knights'_. Tommy, why didn't you ever tell us?"

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Just what I need, a long-lost brother."

"Should I let mom and dad know you'll be over for Christmas morning?" Jason joked, clapping his hand on his friend's shoulder. He held out his hand and Trini passed the paper back to him. "It's just as bad for the rest of you."

"Do I even want to know?" Kim asked, leaning against Tommy as she struggled to contain her laughter.

"Well, yours is a bit closer that ours, but not by much," Jason said. "_'The youngest of the Rangers, the Pink Ranger would rather everyone be happy and not fight. While she is several years away from being an adult she has a very mature attitude'_."

"What, they think I'm a really tall 6-year old?" Kim asked.

"More likely that they think the rest of us are in our late twenties," Zack reasoned. "Read mine!"

Kimberly, decided to continue the route the others had, took the paper from Jason. "Oh wow… _'Clearly the most educated and serious of the Rangers, the Black Ranger is the scholar of the group, shaking off the silliness of some of the other Rangers and pushing them to keep their mission in mind. He is the main advisor of the princely Red Ranger'_."

"Well, I do take my dance moves seriously," Zack chuckled, accepting the paper from Kimberly. "Let's see here… _'The Blue Ranger in the most immature of the Rangers, loving to play pranks and have fun. He is also a flirt, making sure to show off for any woman that happens to be nearby'_. Billy, Billy, Billy…" 

"I think they mixed you two up," Trini snickered.

"I believe so as well. It is clear that this periodical's informational connoisseurs somehow altered our personas-"

"Here, read this," Zack said, handing the paper over to the Blue Ranger.

"Of course," Billy said. "Ah, Trini's entry. _'Though his body is young the Yellow Ranger is mature beyond his years, showing a powerful mix of youth and maturity'_. Hmm, I suppose that's-"

"Wait, what?" Trini said, staring at Billy. "Did you just say 'his'?"

"Affirmative, but only because this periodical used the masculine pronoun."

"They think I'm a guy?" Trini exclaimed in shock, snatching the paper away and looking over the article. "How could they think I'm a guy?!"

"I'm sure it's just a typo or something," Jason said, trying to soothe his teammate's temper. While she looked rather calm and collected the rest of the team knew that Trini, when angry, was an absolute terror. Yes, Jason or Tommy might scream in rage and go into a few roundhouse kicks, and Kimberly could give the cold shoulder like a pro... and even Billy and Zack could get grouchy... but Trini was in a different league. When Trini got mad the best thing one could do was dive for cover until the storm passed over.

"But what if it isn't?" Trini asked. "What if they really think I'm a guy?"

"Well, that would help keep your identity a secret," Tommy reasoned. Unlike the rest of them he hadn't picked up yet just how dangerous an angry Trini was. Kimberly and Zack both stomped on his feet to shut him up.

"That's not the point!" Trini growled.

"Trini, I'm sure it was a mistake," Jason said again. "Maybe tomorrow they'll print a retraction."

"Maybe tomorrow the police will find their mutilated corpses," Trini hissed, her eyes flashing yellow.

Tommy stared at her with wide eyes while Billy and Kim slowly moved away from their enraged yellow-loving friend.

Jason, realizing that it fell to him as the leader to be the brave one, called Ernie over. "Okay, it's just a stupid paper. No reason to get upset over it. Here, I'll prove they're morons. Ernie, which of the girl Rangers do you prefer?"

"Well, the pink one," Ernie said (Kimberly debated if she should be flattered or weirded out that Ernie found her hot while Tommy mentally wondered if he could kill Ernie for creeping on his girl and blame Rita's spell on it). "But since she's the only female Ranger I guess I really don't have a choice."

"Uh, Ernie?" Zack said, nervously looking over at Trini, who was grabbing the table so hard that it was creaking and groaning. "What about the other girl Ranger?"

"…the black Rangers a girl?" Ernie said. Zack began to cough and sputter and Tommy had to smack him on the back, frightened his friend was choking on his own tongue.

"No, the yellow Ranger," Jason said helpfully.

Ernie stared at that. "Really? You think the yellow Ranger is a girl?"

"Why don't you?" Billy asked, unable to stop himself. He knew that whatever Ernie said would be the equivalent of tossing an accelerant onto an inferno. But the inventor and scientist in him just couldn't survive not knowing the truth.

"Well, the uniform for one thing," Ernie said. "The pink Ranger is the only one to have a skirt. The yellow Ranger wears the same body outfit like the rest of the guys."

"That… is a good point," Tommy said, only to get elbowed by Kimberly.

"And if you look over the Yellow Ranger's body, you can tell it is a lithe guy," Ernie said. "The Yellow Ranger's weapons are pretty manly too. And the voice is supposed to be a deep baritone, from what I hear."

"Is… that… so…" Trini groaned out, sounding like some deep dark monster released from the bowels of hell. "Well, thank you… Ernie." Trini stood up and stomped away, leaving her friends awkwardly staring at the door she'd exited through.

"Well," Jason said as Ernie went to go take an order, "we're all going to die."

"I don't know about that," Tommy said.

"Ernie, Bulk got stuck- Oh, hi Trini! What are you doing in the Men's Room? Hey… no… no… NOOOOOO!"

"…I stand by my previous statement."

~TALES~TALES~TALES~

"Has anyone seen Trini?" Kimberly asked, placing her books in her locker. School had gotten done and for once none of the teens had been called away to defeat a monster. Kimberly had been concerned the teachers would notice that they hadn't ducked out, as they tended to do that… a lot… but not a one said a word (little did the Rangers realize that Rita tended to cast spells to make the teachers forget the Rangers had missed class; she wanted them dead and them having detention would only keep them from meeting their demise. Rita was an idiot).

"I saw her in Math Class," Billy said, hefting his book bag. "I tried to converse with her but she mumbled a string of words that sounded like 'kill the phonies' and I decided it would be much wiser to allow her the proper time to vent her frustrations."

"That's… not good," Kim said, gulping.

"What's not good?" Tommy asked, walking up to Kim and Billy.

"Trini's upset."

"About the whole 'the Yellow Ranger is a guy' thing? Yeah, I'd be upset too."

"No Tommy, you'd be angry or frustrated. Trini is upset and that can only lead to death and destruction." Kimberly turned to Billy. "Do you think there is time for us to fly to China and wait it out?"

"I suppose, if we got tickets now-"

"Come on, guys!" Tommy laughed. "So she's upset… how bad could it be?" 

Billy and Kimberly both shuddered as they remembered the last time Trini had gotten mad…

~One Year Earlier…~

"I can't believe those jerks!" Kimberly growled as she stomped out of mall's detention office. "How the hell could they think you were shoplifting?"

Trini didn't say a word, her hands balled into fists as she made her way down the florescent-lit hall. Zack was just behind her, holding her shopping bags, while Billy stood next to Kimberly, ready to offer whatever support his friend needed. Jason was supporting her in his own way… namely by reading the riot act to the overly zealous mall security guard that had decided to manhandle his close friend. Had Trini been in better spirits she would've felt bad for the heavy set man; he was pressed against a wall, chin wobbling as Jason tore into him, coming just a hair's breath away from threatening him with bodily harm.

It had all started innocently enough. She and Zack had been at Good Vibrations checking out new cassettes, looking for something that they could all work out too. That was always a problem; Jason like something with a hard beat, Zack needed something smooth and flowing so his hip-hop/karate hybrid style could really get moving, and Trini preferred music that was steady, allowing her to get into a rhythm. Jason trusted her to pick out something great so she'd gone to make sure Zack didn't just get a ton of hip hop.

They'd made their selections and paid for them when the trouble started. Walking through the exit the alarm had gone off and she and Zack had complied, allowing the clerk to wand them. Zack had been clean but Trini kept setting the alarm off. The clerk, an old friend, had been very nice about it and things might have ended there if the security guard had come by and decided to stick his nose into things. He'd taken one look at her, seen she was with Zack, and instantly decided that she must be a punk thief. Trini had found herself in handcuffs despite the clerk's complaints, paraded down the main drive of the mall while the guard had loudly shouted about 'her kind' ruining the mall for all the good, honest folks.

Zack had run and got her friends; he'd then done one better. Trini hadn't been surprised when Jason, Billy, and Kimberly came in to the detention office as the guard was on the phone with the cops. She'd been VERY surprised when Lt. Stone had entered. At first she'd been mortified, unable to believe that the man that had led her 5th Grade DARE program was going to see her in handcuffs. Dread had turned to shock and vindication when Stone had leapt to her defense; it turned out he'd been at the mall picking up some stuff for his girlfriend when Zack had told him what had happened. Remembering Trini and her friends Stone had come to set things right. It took him only a minute to discover that there was a security tag stuck to Trini's shoe, explaining why the alarm had gone off.

That was why Stone was calmly letting Jason vent his rage at the pudgy security guard who'd decided to act like a Southern Sheriff from a bad 1950s movie.

"At least they gave you those vouchers," Billy said weakly.

"Billy, man," Zack said, shaking his head, "free grub from the food court doesn't make up for being paraded around by a racist Dudley Do-Right."

Trini still refused to say a word.

"So, this is bad," Kimberly whispered to Jason once he'd rejoined the group.

"Very," Jason said. He'd always been more in-tuned with Trini; even Kimberly didn't read their friend as well as Jason did. "I'd hoped me going Captain Caveman on that idiot would cheer her up…"

Before Jason could finish his thought the unusual happened. The teens had just made it into the parking lot when a man who looked like he should be at a comic book convention strode towards them, hitting Trini's shoulder.

"Mind yourself," the masked man who looked like an alien ninja shogun warlord snarled. "You don't know who you are dealing with, little girl."

"Me?" Trini said quietly, her right eyelid twitching. "I'm afraid you don't know who YOU are messing with."

"Excuse me?" the masked man growled, balling up his fists. "Do you realize just what I could do to you?"

"No… but let me explain what I WILL do to you."

What followed was a 7 minute long speech where Trini explained exactly what she would do with each of the man's internal organs. Jason paled, Kimberly shivered, Billy gagged, and Zack looked around for an escape route as Trini tore into the masked man, graphically describing how she'd torture him if he gave her the chance. The ninja shogun warlord guy was, by the end, trembling like a frightened kitten as Trini jabbed her finger into his chest.

"And the other hamburger will ALSO be made of your lungs!" Trini roared. "So, do you really want to mess with me?"

"…no," the masked man whimpered.

"Good," Trini said, twisting away and marching through the parking lot, her friends following close behind.

"Uncle?" two young girls dressed in outer space-meets-punk outfits called out, running to the man as Trini and her friends left. "Uncle Lothor, is everything already?"

"Yes… yes…" Lothor said to Marah and Kapri. "But… uh… I think we should hold off our invasion of Earth for another decade or so."

~TALES~TALES~TALES~

"Yeah, this will be bad," Zack said.

"How was I able to see that?" Tommy asked, looking around with wide eyes. "I wasn't even in Angel Grove when that happened!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP

The teens all jumped, startled out of their trip down memory lane (save Tommy who was still fearful he'd suffered brain damage and that was how he was able to see the memory the rest of the gang had remembered) when their communicators went off.

"Yes Zordon?" Jason asked after making sure that no one was around.

"Rita has sent down a new monster called the Bag Hag. It is attacking downtown Angel Grove. We are teleporting you now."

"Right Zordon," Jason said. "Trini isn't with us though-" 

"I have contacted her and she will be joining you there." Something in Zordon's voice sounded off. "…she was acting strangely, so be on your guard. I fear she might be under a spell."

"Why do you think that?"

"…you'll see."

"Did Zordon just… avoid an issue?" Billy asked.

"Really, really bad," Kimberly muttered.

"Seriously, how was I able to see that memory?!" Tommy exclaimed.

"Alright guys… we can deal with Trini later. It's Morphin' Time!"

"Dragonzord!"

"Mastodon!"

"Pterodactyl!"

"Triceratops!"

"Tyrannosaurus!"

They felt themselves morph just as Zorodon teleported them to the scene of the battle. People were running away from a creature that looked like a cross between a witch and a paper bag costume. Her head was a brown grocery bag, there were plastic bags hanging off her arms, and she wore blue reuseable bags on her feet.

"Do you ever get the feeling Rita is running out of ideas?" Tommy said.

"Well, until she can find an orange power coin…" Zack quipped.

"Ah, the Rangers!" the monster screeched. "I've been waiting for you dearies!"

"And we've been… waiting… for…" Jason trailed off, the monster tilting her head to the side as she tried to figure out why he was stammering. The rest of the team followed his gaze and finally spotted Trini who'd teleported near them.

"…am I observing what I believe I am observing?" Billy asked.

The rest of the Rangers could only stare at their yellow teammate in shock. Trini had somehow managed to sew a long skirt to her costume. The yellow cloth went down to her angles, looking like something Marge Simpsons would wear. Her boots had been replaced by high heel shoes with stiletto heels. The top of her costume hadn't been altered… instead Trini had apparently stuffed the chest with tissues or large cantaloupes, making it look like she had breasts larger than most supermodels. She'd even put lipstick on her helmet's mouth.

"Ooooh, you think you can defeat me?" Trini said in a breathy tone that better fit Marilyn Monroe. She skipped over to her team. "Come on, let's take this monster on."

"…Kim, I'm scared," Tommy whispered.

"We all are."

The Bag Hag merely stared at the Rangers before remembering she was supposed to be trying to destroy them. "You'll never be able to defeat me!" the monster yelled. The monster began to fling bags full of bombs and other explosives at the Rangers, forcing them to leap and dive out of the way. Whenever they tried to move in to deliver a punch or a kick the Bag Hag would simply throw a bag over their head and kick them away, forcing the other Rangers to help their bagged comrade free him or herself. The only one who didn't get bagged at some point was Trini but that was because her heels slowed her down/

"This isn't working," Zack said.

"We can't get in a hit!" Tommy complained.

"Yeah, you guys can't strike her and us GIRLS-" Trini shouted, "can't either."

"Uh, yeah, right." Jason watched as the Bag Hag began to dance about, mocking them. "We need to call on our weapons."

"Right," Kimberly said. The others nodded while Tommy pulled out his Dragon Dagger. "Power Bow!"

"Power Axe!"

"Power Lance!"

"Power Purse!"

"Power-wait, what?" Jason turned, watching as a bejeweled yellow purse appeared in Trini's hands, her power coin emblazed on it. Jason let out a curse when his sword appeared over his head, dropped down right on his helmeted-skull. He rubbed his aching head and picked up his weapon. "How does that even-"

"You brute you brute you savage brute!" Trini screamed in her fake high-pitched girly voice. The other Rangers could only watch as Trini began to beat the monster with her Mighty Morphin' Hand Bag, the Bag Hag screaming in pain and trying to shield herself.

"Wow, she's beating her up worse than Zack did that racist pilgrim," Kimberly said.

"I am concerned our yellow associate is enduring an emotional cessation," Billy said.

"…do you think it was a psychic connection thing related to our powers that let me see that memory?" Tommy asked, tapping his dagger against his helmet.

"I didn't know monsters could bleed," Zack said, tilling his head as Trini screamed, delivering a rather vicious blow to the monster's crushed-in skull.

"Okay, looks like I need to do something about this." Jason said, noticing that several bystanders were watching them… and beginning to feel sympathy for the monster that was bearing the brunt of Trini's rage. It would do no good for any of them if the papers began proclaiming that the Rangers had gone nuts and enjoyed beating their enemies into bloody pulps. He took a step forward, only for the Bag Hag's arm to fly past him. He paused before turning back to his team. "Tommy, I need the Dragon Shield."

"Do you really think that's ne-"

"I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!" Trini screamed as she used the straps of the Power Purse to strangle the Bag Hag.

Tommy quickly placed his hand on Jason's chest, transferring the Shield to his best friend. "Please try and bring it back in one piece."

"No promises."

Jason slowly walked up to the mushy remains of the Bag Hag. Normally, when they defeated a monster, it would go up in a magical blast that would leave nothing but smoke behind. Apparently, however, if one beat and strangled a monster it didn't so much explode as die like everything else. Trini was still straddling the Hag, her hastily added skirt bunched around her waist, the stuffing she'd put in her top making her look lopsided. The Power Purse was covered in monster gore to the point that Jason prayed that Trini never called upon it again, as there was simply no way to ever repair it.

"Uh… Tri… I mean Yellow," Jason said, remembering that there were people around. "How about you be a nice lady and get off the monster's corpse?"

Trini shook her head though. "You're just saying that."

"No, I really need you to get off the corpse-"

"Not that!" Trini roared. "Lady! You're just saying that because you know I want to hear that! 

"I'm not," Jason said gently, placing his hand on her shoulder.

Trini sniffed. "I… I'm a girl, right?" 

"Yes, you are a beautiful, gentle girl. Now please get off the creature you just murdered."

"Okay," Trini said, allowing Jason to help her up and lead her back to the group. Trini rested her head on Jason's shoulder and, after a moment, he wrapped an arm around her, giving her a hug. "Do you think this will settle everything now?"

"I'm sure it will," Jason said.

~The Next Day…~

ANGEL GROVE GAZETTE

RED RANGER REVEALED TO BE LESBIAN, IN TRYST W/TRANSGENDER YELLOW RANGER!

"…I hate reporters so much," Jason growled as he looked at the paper.

"I'll go get my purse," Trini said coldly.

~TALES~TALES~TALES~

NEXT TIME: Kimberly, realizing that Tommy has an image issue (due to him having been evil) sets up a special Big Brothers/Big Sisters program where they, as Rangers, will take a group of kids out for the day. The children selected? Four 6-year olds named Connor, Kira, Ethan, and Trent.


	4. Mitey Mini Junior Rangers Part 1

"Hey guys, what's up?" Tommy asked, a water bottle in hand and a towel wrapped around his neck. He was wearing his favorite green tank top, an emerald bandana keeping his long hair out of his eyes, a jade towel around his neck (the rest of his outfit would be described but the author is running out of synonyms for green). He'd just gotten done helping Jason teach a martial arts class and was looking forward to spending some time with Kimberly.

"Have a seat," Kimberly said, motioning for Tommy to join her and Billy at their table. Jason and Zack were off with Trini discussing ways to incorporate the Tootsie Roll into Zack's Hip Hop Kido, leaving the other three Rangers to hang out by themselves (which surely wouldn't become a thing… right?). "Tommy, we need to talk."

"Oh God, you're pregnant!"

"What?!"

Tommy held his head in his hands. "My mom warned me that holding hands with a girl could get her pregnant but I didn't listen! I thought we didn't need to put on rubber gloves… I am so sorry, Kimberly!" He took a calming breath. "We'll figure this out. First, baby names… let's name it after Zordon! Boy or girl! Works for either or!"

Billy just stared at the green ranger. "I believe Tommy's parental figures have misinformed him about how procreation works."

Kimberly nodded. "Yeah, I'm glad the rest of us are orphans." She tapped Tommy on the shoulder. "Not pregnant. We'll deal with the Birds and the Bees later. Now we need to talk about an… image problem."

"Image problem?" Tommy asked, confused.

"Affirmative," Billy said. "It has come to our attention that the community has begun to express trepidation in one constituent of the Power Rangers."

It took Tommy a moment to realize what Billy was getting out. "Oh… OH! Yeah, I guess that is bad."

"Very bad," Kimberly said, relieved that Tommy understood.

"So, how do we discuss this with Trini?"

…or not.

"Not Trini," Kimberly said.

Tommy frowned. "Zack then? I mean, yeah, he murdered that Pilgrim-"

"Negative," Billy said.

"…Alpha?" Tommy asked.

"It's you," Kimberly finally blurted out.

"Me?" Tommy said, shocked that his friends thought people were terrified of him. "Why would people be afraid of me?"

"Remember last week?"

~8 Days Earlier…~

Tommy hurried up the fire escape, hoping he'd make it in time. Rita had sent down a monster (he honestly didn't know what it was. Billy had mentioned something about a birdhouse and Rocky Mountain Oysters and Tommy was in no hurry to find out what that meant) that had forced the rest of his team to chase after the creature through the park. Tommy had been late once more thanks to him forgetting to put his communicator on (at least that's what he told Billy; he wasn't about to admit that the strap irritated his sensitive skin) but this had worked out, as Zordon had received energy readings from something appearing on top of Angel Grove's famous rooftop restaurant 'Le Munchies'. Reports had quickly come in that a group of monsters were holding the diners their hostage. Zordon and Alpha had teleported him nearby and he was now scaling the fire escape in hopes of surprising the monsters and freeing the innocent diners.

Leaping over the roof's edge, Tommy landed in a fight pose, ready to take on his new foes. The citizens looked at him in surprise while the trio of monsters turned to face him. Two looked reasonably human while the third was clearly a robot covered in gold armor. The male was dressed in black leather and had a silver mask that covered the left side of his face while the female was dressed in white armor and had a shock of pink hair.

"I knew we leapt too far!" the leather man said. "Frax, I told you I wanted us to end up in 2001!"

"I'm so sorry, Master Ransik!" the robot said pleadingly. "I didn't mean to do this!" Under his breath (but strangely loud enough for Tommy to hear) he muttered. "Or… did… I?"

"Daddy, look!" the pink haired woman proclaimed. "Another Ranger!"

Ransik took a step forwards before visibly relaxing. "Calm yourself, Nadria! That is the legendary Green Ranger!"

Tommy, unsure what to do, took a step forward. "You need to-"

"The evil Ranger created by the Empress of Evil Rita Rupulsa herself?" Nadria asked.

"The very same!"

Tommy frowned and moved to confront the villains. "Yes, Rita created me, but I-"

"-broke away to begin your own reign of violence and death!" Ransik stated. "I read up on your dark exploits and I must say it's an honor to meet you, Green Ranger!"

"…what?"

Frax bobbed his head. "Oh yes. Please, do not assume we have come to muscle in on your territory. Please, accept these innocents from us! You may torture them as you wish."

"Torture?" one patron said.

Nadria happily nodded, turning to address the diners. "Yes! If we had captured you there's a chance you'd have died quick and painless but the Green Ranger and his blood-soaked hands prefer to torture and mutilate his captives. I heard he once flayed a man for a week straight, refusing to let him die till he had his fill."

Several patrons gulped in fear and began to back away from Tommy. "Wait!" the Green Ranger called out.

"I heard that he then steals your soul and places it in his dagger so he might hold you prisoner forever!" Frax exclaimed.

"We have to do something!" another diner screamed.

"Let's kill ourselves before the Green Ranger can do the job!" a third citizen said. "Come on, boys, leap to your deaths!"

"WAIT!" Tommy screamed, only for his cry to be drowned out by the thuds of bodies falling to the cruel, unforgiving pavement below. "…wha… wha…"

"Goodbye, Green Ranger!" Ransik said. "Know that every villain that comes after you sees you as a trailblazer!" The mutant criminal pressed a button and Frax's cobbled-together time machine teleported the three back to the year 3001.

"Tommy, we're here now!" Zack called up from the street below. "Ugh, who threw lasagnas all over the-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

~TALES~TALES~TALES~

"Hey, that all worked out in the end," Tommy pointed out. "That restaurant was hosting a NAMBLA convention so everyone who died deserved it! And now Zack can't eat lasagna so we all get extra portions!"

"Yes, that's true," Kimberly said, "but it doesn't change the fact that people still think you are evil. We want to help you get over that and Billy and I came up with a great idea." Kimberly reached into her purse and pulled out a brochure.

"Big Brothers/Big Sisters?" Tommy said. "So… I'll improve my public image by getting a Big Brother to mentor me?"

"…it is so good that you are cute," Kimberly said, stroking Tommy's hair. "No, you'll be a Big Brother to someone."

Tommy pouted. He'd always wanted an older brother (EPIC FORESHADOWING!)

"We've conversed with Zordon and he concurred that this is a smart proposal. It would permit you to demonstrate to adolescents that you are a virtuous individual. I've recommended that we consider implementing it among the rest of our sextet." Tommy and Kimberly looked at each other, then at Billy. "It means 'a group of six'," Billy said.

"Ah," Kim said before turning her attention back to Tommy. "But yeah, Zordon really likes the idea. Yes, he made us Rangers to stop Rita but Rangers aren't supposed to be just warriors. We are Heroes of Light, protecting and aiding this world. That means doing more than destroying monsters and keeping Trini full of coffee."

"I… suppose," Tommy said.

"Don't worry," Kim said, taking ahold of his hand and giving it a squeeze, "I'll do it with you! You and me first, then Jason and Trini, Zack and Billy… mix it up later on but for now start with those partners. So, what do you say?"

Tommy looked at Billy and Kimberly and sighed. "I guess it would be better than people checking my dagger for blood."

~Two Days Later…~

Tommy and Kimberly stood in the museum's entrance, trying their hardest not to feel awkward. It was weird to be in uniform without a monster to fight or a threat to take care of. Several visitors stopped to stare at them but, in typical Angel Grove fashion, promptly ignored the strangeness that was two Power Rangers leaning against a ticket booth, not quite sure what to do with their arms since their costumes didn't have pockets. The citizens, after months of monster attacks, giant mechs, and strange reality-altering magicks, had developed a blind spot for such things. Unless there was a threat to their lives they would merely ignore the bewildering sight.

Tommy was seconds away from wandering off to the gift shop when Kimberly nudged him in the side. "What?"

"You can't wander off."

"I wasn't-"

"You were," Kim said. Though Tommy couldn't see her face he knew she was smiling. "Besides, here come the kids."

Tommy glanced down the stairs towards the double sets of doors where a 20-something woman with very short black hair was shepherding four 6-year olds into the museum. The Green Ranger tilted his head while Kimberly couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of the little ones.

"Are they wearing…"

Kimberly nodded. "Yup."

"Since when did they begin making Power Rangers costumes?" Tommy asked, staring at the kids. Their four charges were wearing poly-cotton blend Power Rangers one pieces and plastic masks with color-matching backpacks and sneakers.

"I'm not surprised, with how much merchandise is being made based on us." Kimberly paused, considering this. "Okay, now I'm weirded out that we've become famous enough to have merchandise."

Before Tommy could comment the woman from Big Brothers/Big Sisters finished climbing the steps, her hands pressed against two of the kids' backs. All four kids were looking up in awe at the Rangers and Tommy and Kim stared down at them, suddenly feeling like they'd grown 10 feet tall and were staring at their miniaturized teammates. There was a little Red Ranger who bounced up and down with pent up energy. Next to him was a Blue Ranger who, even with his mask on, seemed to be studying Tommy and Kimberly intently. The sole girl in the group wore a yellow version of Kimberly's costume, which was rather odd; though not as odd as the final member of the foursome who wore a white version of Tommy's outfit.

"Hello there," the woman from Big Brothers/Big Sisters said, extending her hand. Kimberly, shaking herself from the daze she'd entered upon seeing the kids in their outfits, took her hand and gave it a firm shake. "I'm Elizabeth Randall and these are-"

"We can introduce ourselves! We're not babies!" the Red Mini Ranger exclaimed. He turned to Tommy and struck a dramatic pose. "I'm Connor McKnight and I'm the Red Ranger and leader of the team."

"Who said you could be the leader?" the Blue Mini Ranger complained.

"The Red Ranger is always the leader."

"…there has only been one Red Ranger!"

"And now there are two!" Connor declared.

"That doesn't make sense." 

"You don't make sense!"

The Yellow Mini Ranger shook her head. "Boys are silly."

The Blue Mini Ranger held out his hand. "I'm Ethan James, Mr. Green Ranger."

Tommy shook his hand. "Nice to meet you both." He glanced at Mini Yellow. "And what's your name?"

"I'm Kira Ford!" the little girl proclaimed. Before Tommy could say a word Kira blurted out, "I like to sing and I'm learning guitar and I'm taking karate lessons!" She looked over at the Mini White Ranger. "This is Trent Fernandez. He's kinda shy but that's okay because he can draw better than the rest of us. He's my boyfriend!"

Kim, seeing how Trent looked at Kira, chuckled. "Did he know he was your boyfriend?"

"He does now!" Kira happily chirped.

"Isn't that something he should have a say in?" Tommy asked.

"Why?"

"Oh, I like her," Kimberly said. "Nice to meet you too, Trent." The little boy merely nodded, looking back and forth at the two Power Rangers. It was clear he was a bit in awe of them.

"So, I'd like to go over the plans for today-Connor, don't roll your eyes-just to make sure we have everything settled," Miss. Randall said. "You'll have them for 4 hours. We've already made arrangements with the museum concerning lunch, since I imagine you two don't have wallets." Tommy and Kimberly nodded. "They are also allowed to pick out a few souvenirs but there is a $25 dollar limit for each. Don't let them pool money as that will lead to fights. I'll be here at 2pm on the dot to collect these four. Please do not leave the museum." She paused, looking the two Rangers over. "You are sure you won't be called away?"

"The other Rangers are monitoring things and are ready to respond. There'll be no need for use to leave to fight a monster today."

"Good to hear," Miss Randall said crisply. "Connor, Ethan, Kira, Trent, Connor, I want you to behave."

"You said my name twice!" Connor exclaimed.

"You need double reminding. Listen to the Rangers and do as they say, alright?"

"Yes Miss Randall," the four intoned. She gave them one final look, the one Kimberly and Tommy recognized as the standard "You are considering doing something bad but I will find out about it so don't even think about it" look. She spun on her heels and marched away, leaving the two Rangers and their wards idly standing by the ticket counter.

"She'd make a great general for Rita, wouldn't she?" Tommy asked casually, earning a giggle from Connor and Ethan. "Alright guys, let's go." Connor grabbed his hand but Ethan moved to walk with Kim, leaving the Green Ranger to grab Trent's hand. "So, why did you pick the costume your wearing?" he asked the two boys.

"I like red," Connor said. "My soccer uniform is red! And I like tyrannosauruses. They're big and cool! Except for Sharptooth… he killed Little Foot's mom."

"I didn't like that," Trent said sadly,

"Me neither," Connor stated, looking down at his feet. Before Tommy could worry about having two kids sobbing about a dead cartoon character in the middle of a museum Connor instantly perked up. "But the Red Ranger has a tyrannosaurus! That's cool! Does he let you ride it?"

"No, but I have my own zord, the dragonzord."

"Dragons aren't dinosaurs," Ethan called out. "Neither are mastodons or sabertooth tigers."

Kim nodded. "Yeah, we brought that up with Zor… our mentor and he said they were ancient and that was good enough."

"…he's stupid," Ethan said with a huff, crossing his arms over his chest. Kimberly choked back laughter while Tommy just stared at Ethan in shock. "I like the triceratops! And the Blue Ranger is really smart… I read somewhere he makes a lot of stuff for you guys."

"That's right," Kimberly said, wondering how that little tidbit had managed to get out. "And what about you, Kira? I noticed you have my costume but its yellow…"

"They make all sorts of costumes different colors!" Kira exclaimed. "There was a Yellow Black Ranger and Pink Blue Ranger… but I like yellow and pterodactyls are the best!"

"I think they are too," Kimberly said.

"But bow and arrows suck," Kira said firmly, causing Kim to take a stutter step.

"W-what?"Kimberly said.

"Kira, that's a naughty word!" Trent exclaimed, horrified.

"But they do suck!" Kira complained. "If I'm gonna fight something I want to be in close, slashing them in the face!" She darted forward and waved her hand about. "Slash slash slash!"

Ethan leaned back. "Girls are scary."

"I'm glad she's not my girlfriend," Connor whispered to Trent.

"What about you?" Tommy asked Trent, giving the quiet boy's hand a gentle squeeze. "Why did you pick my costume but in white? White your favorite color? Like dragons?"

"You're strong," Trent said softly. Tommy couldn't help but smile at that (though Trent couldn't see that) but the boy's next words shocked him to the core. "When you beat up the Megazord… that was cool."

"Uh… what?"

"You took down all five rangers! You beat them up real good and nearly destroyed the Megazord and you were all like 'grrrrrr'! and they were like 'aaaa, no!' It was awesome!" Trent began to warm up to the topic of being evil and powerful and the Green Ranger looked over at his Pink counterpart, silently asking 'how is this suppose to repair my image?' "And I bet you could have totally beat them! That's why I picked your outfit but I wanted to be white because then I could be you… but… uh… in white instead of green!" Trent paused, his little face turning up to look at Tommy. "Could you still beat them, Mr. Green? Not that you'd want to… but could you?"

"Yeah, could you?" Kimberly teased.

Tommy stared at Trent, glad his mask hid his glower. "Maybe," he said, playing it safe.

"Cool," Trent said, instantly going back to being quiet and introvert.

"So," Kimberly said, deciding to take charge, "what should we see first?"

"Dinosaurs!" Connor called out. "RAWR!"

"Egypt exhibit!" Ethan chimed in, doing a mummy walk.

"Rawr!"

"Miss Pink, Miss Pink!" Kira called out.

"Yes Kira?"

The little girl paused for a moment. "…look what I can do!" Kimberly tilted her head as Kira began to spin around, letting out squeals as she did so.

"Mr. Green, I need to go potty," Trent said, tugging on his hand.

"Rawr!"

"Mummy power!"

"Weeeeeeee!"

"Mr. Green! Potty!"

"Oops!" Kira cried out as she hit a display, sending brochures raining down on here.

"RAWR!"

Kimberly and Tommy shared a look.


	5. Mitey Mini Junior Rangers Part 2

"Okay, be honest... am I getting old or are kids way more hyper nowadays?" Kim asked, her legs stretched out before her. She showed no signs of caring that sitting on a gift shop's floor was undignified for a Ranger. She stared at her boots, wishing she could rip them off and massage her aching soles.

Tommy was seated right next to her, annoyed that he couldn't remove his helmet and rub his temples. "I think they are making us old," he muttered.

The Mini Rangers, as Connor, Kira, Ethan and Trent had taken to calling themselves, had been running the two heroes ragged. They never seemed able to agree on what they wanted to do next, were constantly darting underfoot when they spotted something interesting, had the attention spans of goldfish, and asked a thousand questions. Not just about being a Ranger, but also about different displays, exhibits, and even once a trash can (Tommy didn't know WHY Connor found the trash can so interesting but he had and wanted to know more about it). It had all come to an end when Kira had tugged on Kim's sleeve and asked "Where do babies come from?"

Tommy had quickly told them it was lunch time and herded the kids into the cafeteria. That had been their first moment of relief, as the kids had actually quieted down while they munched on their burgers and fries and slurped soda from their plastic kiddie cups that had little mummies and brachiosaurus on them. The only downside had been the fact that Kim and Tommy couldn't eat themselves but that small discomfort was something they could manage if it meant they got a moment to breathe and sit down in padded chairs.

And then Connor had spotted the gift shop.

What had followed had been a whirlwind of little legs, brightly colored souvenirs, and all manner of items with the museum's logo printed on them flying about like the Wicked Witch in Dorothy's tornado. Tommy and Kimberly had quickly thrown up their hands in surrender, telling their little charges to stay in the gift shop and use indoor voices. The four had agreed though those restrictions weren't enough to keep the Mini Rangers from bringing about their own unique brand of chaos upon the gift shop.

"Connor, don't climb on that," Tommy said halfheartedly.

"I wasn't gonna, Mr. Green!" Connor complained, though it was clear he was lying his little rear off as he eyed a clothing shelf.

"Old McDonald had a farm!" Kira sang as she darted through a rack of shirts. Ethan, had managed to get behind the register and was attempting to rewire it while Trent looked like he was about to crash from his sugar rush. "And on that farm he had some Putties!"

"You know, I thought Rangers were suppose to be able to handle anything," the employee running the gift shop said, shaking her head as she walked over to them, guiding a pouting Ethan away from the register. She was roughly Tommy and Kimberly's age but the way she held herself spoke of a world-weariness even the heroes didn't have.

"I'll give you my morpher now if you think you can do better," Kimberly said.

CRASH!

"...I'm okay!" Connor called out.

"Nevermind," the employee said, letting Ethan escape her grasp. "They're the four kids from the school, right?"

Tommy nodded. "Yeah... we're doing Big Brothers/Big Sisters..." he tilted his head as he read her nametag, "...Haley."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because supervillains from the future think I'm evil and I caused a bunch of pedophiles to commit suicide."

"...you know, I don't think I need to know." She began to back away, only to bump into Kira, who looked up at her and pushed up her mask so Haley could see her large beaming smile. "Uh... hello."

"I'm with them! I'm with the Power Rangers!" Kira said proudly. "Do you work with Mr. Green and Miss Pink?"

Haley managed a smile. "no, I just work at the museum. I'll leave working with the Power Rangers to you." With that Haley made her escape while the kids hurried over to Tommy and Kim, who reluctantly got off the wonderful floor and got to their aching feet; they could get thrown out of their own zords and yet somehow walking around with the Mini Rangers hurt worse. The kids looked over at Haley to get their items rung up on the school's tab but Haley merely waved them off, wanting them out of the shop as quick as possible.

"What did you guys get?" Kim asked as she took Kira and Trent's hands, Tommy taking Ethan and Connor's.

"Stuffed animals!" Ethan proclaimed, holding up his bag.

"Ethan," Trent said with a little sad whine, "you said..."

"Oh! I'm sorry Trent!" Ethan bobbed his head before addressing Kim once again. "We got our zords!" He held up a plush blue triceratops that was clutched in his little hand.

"Rawr!" Connor declared, waving his t-rex plushing around. Kira had found a yellow pterodactyl while Trent had a white one... that also oddly had sinister red eyes. Tommy looked down at it, glad his helmet hid his slightly frightened expression as the crimson eyes seemed to burn into his soul.

"Well, what do you want to do next?" Tommy asked, forcing himself to sound more energetic than he was. "We still haven't gone through the Roman section..." He noticed Connor doing a little dance and sighed. "Do you need to use the potty?"

"No!" Connor declared. "Potties are for babies."

"...do you need to use the Mini Ranger Room?"

"Uh huh!" Tommy pointed to his right and Connor nodded in thanks, hurrying into the restroom.

"Do we have to wait for him?" Kira complained, putting her plushie back into her bag.

"Yes, it's polite," Kim said.

Kira frowned at that. "Being polite sucks."

"Kira said a naughty word!" Ethan cried out.

"Did not!" Kira exclaimed.

"Did too!"

"Nuh uh!" 

"Uh huh!"

"Nuh uh!" 

"Uh huh!"

"Mr. Green…" Trent said, tugging on Tommy's hand.

"Nuh uh!" 

"Uh huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Mr. Green…" 

"Uh huh!"

"Nuh uh!" 

"Uh huh!"

"Mr. Green…"

"Trent… not now," Tommy said in annoyance, glad they were alone and there wasn't anyone else around to see the Rangers at a lost at how to deal with two bickering 4 year olds…

"MR. GREEN!" Trent growled, his eyes flashing blood red. Tommy leaned back in shock and Kira and Ethan went silent. Trent, suddenly seeing he had everyone's attention, blushed. "Uh… why do those pilgrims look weird?" 

Tommy frowned, looking over at the display Trent was pointing. He saw the two pilgrims that were part of the Mayflower exhibit, wearing black outfits and buckle hats and with gray faces that were clearly Putty faces-

"Kim!" Tommy shouted without thinking, shoving the kids behind him as the Putties threw off their costumes and leapt out to face them. "They're the buddies of that pilgrim monster, come for revenge!" 

"Stay behind us!" Kim said, shoving the kids behind her and getting into a battle stance. "What, did you guys come to see the museum's exhibit on Whistler?"

"We came to pick up some items!" Goldar declared, suddenly appearing before the two with a crate in his arms.

"Hiya!" Tommy moved to take on Goldar, his leg lashing out and kicking the crate, shattering it and causing Rita's right-hand monster to stumble back even as bits of straw, wood, and other bits went flying all over. The two exchanged several punches and blows, grunting with each strike. "Si-Hiya!"

The battle might have gone Tommy's way if it hadn't been for Kim's cry. He looked over just in time to see her slam into a wall as a horde of Putties descended on her. That proved to be his undoing as Goldar swiped his sword at Tommy, the Green Ranger crying out as sparks exploded from his chest and he was sent flying back next to Kim and the frightened kids. He struggled to stand up only to see more Putties appear before them.

"Tommy," Kim whispered, eying up the Putties. 

"Yeah," Tommy said, not wanting to scare the kids with the news that they were greatly outnumbered. "I can't reach the others either."

"Of course you can't!" Goldar said with a laugh, holding up a necklace with a glowing orange gem. "This mystical jewel blocks all your communications! You can't contact the other Rangers or Zordon!" He took a step forward, the necklace dangle from his fingertips and as he let out a mocking growl that had Trent whimpering and hiding his face in Kim's top. "You could teleport, of course, but I don't know if you could bring all the runts with you!" Goldar cackled, lazily swinging his sword as he approached to huddled group. The two Rangers cursed; they could teleport with one more person but wouldn't be able to take a second. Kim and Tommy shoved Ethan, Trent and Kira behind them, trying to shield them as best they could from the golden monster that was stalking towards them. The two Rangers looked at each other and even with their masks on they knew the other wore an expression of fear. They'd faced many dangers but there had always been something that made them think that they'd get through it and survive. At that moment, with Goldar and the Putties slowly closing in, both were struck with the realization that they weren't going to survive. Worse, they were going to fail the children they'd sworn to protect.

"Miss Pink?" Kira said softly, clutching at Kimberly's hand.

"It'll be ok, Sweetie," Kimberly said.

"Yes!" Goldar mocked. "Keep feeding them lies! Lie till the bitter end!" He raised his sword, a maniac gleam in his eye. "You'll all be-"

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYYAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Tommy and Kim couldn't believe their eyes. Behind Goldar, running at full steam, was Connor. His mask was down and he'd grabbed a janitor's broom with a broken, jagged end, and was wielding it like a lance, charging at Goldar as fast as his little legs could carry him. The Putties stared at him, unable to comprehend what they were seeing. Kim grabbed her Blaster Blade, preparing to make a suicide leap at Goldar the moment he noticed Connor; she hoped it would be enough for Tommy to get the kids to safety. But Goldar never turned, his attention focused solely on the downed Rangers and their young charges.

Thus he was unprepared for Connor's broom to find a way through the folds of his armor and strike him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Goldar screamed, his eyes bulging out and his sword falling from his fingers, clattering to the floor. The Rangers stared at Goldar, their jaws dropping, and Kira, Ethan and Trent peered around them, watching with wide eyes as Goldar cried out in pain. Tommy and Kim looked at each other, as if silently asking "Are we seeing what we're seeing?", only to turn back to watch Goldar. It was Ethan who put words to their shock.

"Mr. Green! Mr. Green! Connor shoved a broom up his butt!"

"Yes... yes he did," Tommy said quietly, his brain trying to comprehend the sight of Goldar with a broom handle shoved several inches up his rectum.

Pain turned to rage and Goldar whipped around, moving to grab Connor. But the little boy held onto his broom and all Goldar did was spin the Mini Red Ranger around. Kim instantly had the mental impression of a dog chasing its tail.

"You little brat!" Goldar screamed in pain and anger. "When I get my hands on you..."

"Have to catch me, meanie!" Connor said, putting his feet down on the ground and grabbing the bristles of the broom, trying to wretch it free. Instead all he managed to do was twist it, causing Goldar to scream and fling his arm out, striking a Putty. Connor blinked, looking at the broom head... then gave it another twist. Goldar once more cried out and took out another Putty.

"Cool!" Connor proclaimed. "He's like a puppet!" He began to randomly twist the broom and Goldar, near tears, bellowed and began to flail about, taking out any Putty that got in his way. "Die Putties!" Kim and Tommy's jaws dropped once again as they watched the mighty golden warrior begin attacking his own soldiers. "Come on guys!" 

"Yeah!" Ethan suddenly shouted, squirming out from behind Tommy and hurrying over to the broom, taking over for Connor. He began to twist and spin the broom about, giggling at the way Goldar bellowed and moaned even as he swung his clawed hands at a poor Putty. "Go go Mini Rangers!" Ethan shouted in glee as he made Goldar take out another three of his goons.

"STOP THAT!" Goldar screamed in agony as the sharp wood up his rearend.

"Is… is he crying?" Kim said.

"I think he is," Tommy said.

"This is really disturbing."

"I wanna try!" Kira shouted, avoiding Kim's attempt to grab her. Ethan nodded and shoved the broom towards the little girl. Kira grinned as she leapt up, grabbing the handle and tugging down hard; Goldar roared and spun his arms in circles, decapitating two poor Putties that happened to be standing a bit too close by. "Trent, you want to try next?" 

"You can have my turn," Trent said, deciding it better to stick with him the Pink and Green Ranger.

"Okay, but I'll have to do something really special then for you!" Kira said, twisting the broom a few more times before pausing, her head tilted to one side. "Hey… if twisting the broom makes him attack… what would shoving it in further do?"

Goldar froze, a look of utter panic crossing his face.

"Should I do it?" Kira called out.

"Yeah!" Connor called out.

"Totally!" Ethan exclaimed.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Goldar screamed.

"Try it," Trent said.

Kira gripped the broom, taking a moment to tally up the results of her poll. "Sorry, 3 against 1!" And with that she rammed against the bristled head with all her might.

Goldar let out a shriek that had the glass display cases trembling and Tommy and Kim clamping their hands over their ears… only to remember they were wearing helmets. The golden monster, for his part, opening his mouth and a plume of flames shot out, roasting the Putties that were near him.

"I didn't know Goldar could breathe fire," Tommy said with a wince.

"I don't think he knew either," Kim answered, her voice quiet due to shock.

Trent suddenly rushed forward, grabbing the necklace from Goldar's hand and swinging it at the floor, shattering it. A few seconds later the familiar forms of Jason, Trini, Zack and Billy appeared morphed before them. The other rangers got into fighting stances only to stare in surprise at Goldar as he struggled to remove the broom from his butt while the Mini Rangers moved about him, kicking at his shins while yelling 'hi-ya'. Finally the golden warrior let out a roar and teleported away, Kira letting out a yelp as the broom suddenly disappeared. She fell to the ground and for a moment was ready to cry about her boo-boo, only to see the Putties and Goldar gone and let out a cheer.

"We did it! We did it!" Connor chanted. Ethan, Trent and Kira quickly joined him, the four marching around in a circle, celebrating their victory while the newly arrived rangers looked on.

"I believe we may have arrived late and missed vital information," Billy stated.

"It's… it's a long story," Tommy said. Before he could say anything else he heard Zordon's voice echo within his helmet.

"Rangers, please return to the Command Center… and bring young Connor, Kira, Ethan, and Trent with you." Kim and Tommy shared a look and shrugged, lifting up Kira and Trent. Connor would have normally complained about being carried like a baby but the fact that Jason was the one who did it had the little boy grinning under his mask. Billy took Ethan while Trini and Zack grabbing their gift backs before the Rangers teleported back to the command center.

The Mini Rangers were set down on the ground but for once weren't running about like little hellions. Their heads swiveled about as they looked about the command center, soaking in everything before finally catching sight of Zordon.

"Welcome, young ones," Zordon stated. "I am Zordon, mentor of the Power Rangers. I watched the battle with Goldar and witnessed your bravery… and unusual battle tactics."

"Ai Ai Ai!" Alpha exclaimed. "Unusual is not the word I'd use." 

Zordon merely chuckled before turning his attention back on the four. "I asked the Green and Pink Ranger to bring you here so that I might reward you for your bravery." Alpha stepped forward and opened up a small black case… revealing four morphers. The other rangers stared at each other in shock but before they could say a word Zordon continued. "Connor, Kira, Etha, and Trent. I tell you as I told the Power Rangers the Three Cardinal Rules of being a Ranger. One: Use force only when it is necessary. Two: Never use your powers for personal gain. And Three: Never reveal your identity or the identity of your fellow Rangers to anyone. Do you accept these terms?" 

"Yeah!" the four kids exclaimed. Alpha handed them each a morpher and the kids grinned as they examined them.

"Then I official declare you the Mini Rangers… may the power protect you."

The four shouted out their thanks and after shaking hands with the rangers and giggling in delight. Tommy, Kim, Jason, and Billy gathered them back up again and teleported away.

Once they were alone Trini spoke up. "Zordon, that was very sweet… but are you sure it was wise?"

"Yeah!" Zack said. "I mean, you just gave them morphers-"

"Oh, there is no need to worry," Alpha said, patting the Black Ranger on the arm. "Without a power source like a Power Coin, the morphers are useless."

~30 Minutes Later…~ 

Connor, Kira, Ethan, and Trent were sitting in Trent's back yard, still giddy over what had happened. After the Rangers had dropped them off Trent had asked his adopted father if his friends could come over to play. Anton had agreed and now the Mini Rangers were gathered under the large oak that held Trent's treehouse, looking over their morphers.

"This is cool!" Connor exclaimed. "We're Power Rangers!"

Trent nodded. "It's a really big responsibility…"

Kira nodded. "Yeah, we'll need more brooms!"

"Hey guys," Ethan said, digging through his gift bag. "Look at these!" He set his stuffed animal next to the other three plush dinos and held out four colorful rock-like lumps. 

"What are those?" Connor asked.

"I don't know… they were in my bag. I think that golden monkey monster threw them into my bag when Mr. Green hit him. They were in his crate." 

"They look pretty," Kira said, holding out her hand. "Hey!" she yelped when the yellow gem flew into her morpher. "Whoa." 

"Let me try!" Connor said, holding out his morpher, grinning when the red gem flew to him. "Awesome!"

Trent and Ethan mimicked him, the white and blue gems entering their morphers as well. The four little ones looked over their morphers, now each sporting a glowing gem, before looking back at each other.

"Do… do you think-?" Trent asked.

Connor got a naughty grin on his face. "Only way to find out." He leapt to his feet, the others mimicking him. None of them knew what made them say it but as one the three shouted:

"DINO THUNDER! POWER UP!"


End file.
